"Crap-fitting"

Putting up with the things we shouldn't be putting up with

I recently came across this term, from Anna Runkle, The Crappy Childhood Fairy (yes, this is the name she goes by - check her out on Youtube, her content is brilliant). I just love it. Its perfectly descriptive of what it refers to - fitting ourselves to crap, because we don’t believe we deserve any better than, well, crap. This is something that most people with CPTSD (chronic post traumatic stress disorder) deal with - and no doubt, at some point or other, many people. Crap-fitting refers to the tendency some people have to put up with bad situations or people, because inherently they don’t believe they are worthy or deserving of good situations or people. They have become so accustomed to ‘making do’ that it is the norm, it is just what they do. It is the program, the template for life. The thing is, it is NOT the norm!

I’ve been doing this since forever. Friendships, relationships, houses, jobs, you name it, I’ve crap-fitted to it.

I was quite shocked when I discovered that many people don’t do this! Many people know what they want and they stand for it. They won’t accept anything less. They aren’t afraid to tell life just what they want. As a result, they mostly get it. I’ve been doing this my whole life - making do, putting up with, over-compromising, hoping for the best but deep down expecting and anticipating the worst.

Other people don’t do this, really? Really, really?! How, even? If we view this from the ‘law of attraction’ perspective, when we are crap-fitting we are basically shining a bright beacon saying ‘I’ll put up with anything, just give me something!’. Ah those tricky childhoods of ours, instead of teaching us to go for what we want and deserve, we were instead programmed by our unhappy caregivers that we gotta just take what we can get. Slowly but surely we settle into the belief that we don’t deserve any better.

Now that I know about this, I’m looking at everything differently! I had a sit-down-chat with myself, my inner child, and we got some things straight. “This is not the way things are going to be done around here anymore”, I said to her, “and I’m so sorry that you went through what you went through to believe any of this nonsense. From now on, things are going to be different around here”.

Everyone and everything now gets the beady side-eye - does it resonate with my deepest desires? Is it aligned with my deepest truth? What am I hoping to achieve by going down this particular road?

We only know when we know. We endure so much in our childhood and we sally-forth into our lives not knowing that how we were raised isn’t 'THE TRUTH’. We are a discombobulation of our parents trauma, our ancestral trauma, and our own. I love how resilient the human heart is. No matter what we endure, we continue to seek a better way, a gentler way, a more connected way. It is our job as adults to reconnect to our inner children and let them know how loved and deserving they truly are. Life will meet us there.

Much love

Sally